Beware of the Coal Shovel!

Did I ever tell you about the time my Grandmother fell on a coal shovel and got pregnant?  Well that was her official story, anyway.

Now my Grandmother was mentally ill (through childhood experiences, not genetically) and my Grandfather was Autistic.  My dad was their only child. (together, anyway)

My dad said many men used to come over to the house when he was young and his father was away working on the railroad. He remembers my Grandmother would sit on their laps.  Especially one guy in particular.  Jim McGillicuddy.
My dad remembers him so well because he wished this guy would be his new dad, since his current dad was a little lacking in the social skills department.

Anywho, my Grandmother got pregnant.  So when my Grandfather returned home from working on the Railroad, my Grandmother told him she was pregnant, BUT she did not cheat on him.  NO!  She was out in the yard, fell on a coal shovel, and somehow got pregnant.  And you know what? My Grandfather BELIEVED HER!

Now I've known this story most of my life.  I only now looked up what a coal shovel looked like for this post.  My first reaction to hearing this story was WTF? But now, after seeing a coal shovel, my new first reaction is "OWWWWWWW".  That's GOTTA HURT.  Though did she fall on the handle or the shovel part? I don't think anyone ever asked her.

Sadly, the baby was a stillborn and was malformed, but as my dad always said, "What did you expect? It was half-coal shovel!"

I'm eternally grateful my dad turned to humor instead of say... serial killing, to help him deal with his childhood.