My father-in-law proudly told my oldest son one evening that in 6 months when he turns 13, he will start greeting him with a handshake instead of a hug. Uh... okaaaaay. #weirdo
As soon as I came over to their house, my son approached me in another room and told me what his Grandfather had said to him. He then said, "Uh, that's really weird. Is that how they do things in The South?" To which I replied, "I have no idea. Yes that is weird."
My eldest son is very physically affectionate. He still loves to cuddle with us. He makes sure he hugs and kisses every member of the family (including the cats) before he goes to bed. He loves hugs. So he sees it as his grandfather will stop being affectionate with him when he becomes a teenager.
At dinner, while the kids were playing outside, my FIL proudly announced to us that he had told my son that. Like it's some rite of passage that we should all be excited about. *rolls eyes* I looked at him with a confused look on my face and said, "Is that a Southern thing?" and he said, "Yes!". And I replied, "Okaaaaaay." My usually oblivious MIL actually could see that both my husband and I thought it was weird.
As we were leaving their house later that evening my son said to his grandfather, "Am I still allowed to hug you goodbye?" Hahaha I love that kid.
Since that time, my husband and I have brought it up several times in front of the in-laws. "Hey, make sure you get your hugs in now, because no hugs from Grandpa when you turn 13!" And while my MIL gets that we think it's weird, my FIL is clueless. He just proudly says, "Yep!" And my MIL will follow up quietly (so the FIL won't hear her) "Well, rules were made to be broken." (Heaven forbid he actually hears her stand up to him!)
When the actual time comes and my FIL greets my son with a handshake instead of a hug, I think my husband should also refuse to hug his dad and instead offer his hand for a handshake. After all, my husband is over the age of 12 as well. As a matter of fact, I think I'll offer my hand as well. Anything to get out of the obligatory hug!
Please let your son know that your FIL is just plain weird. I've been in the south (aka Texas) for 30 years now and have never heard of that "rule". Also, my grandfather (whose been gone for many years) kept giving me hugs way after I turned 13 and he lived in Texas for most of his life.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Glad to hear it's not a Southern rule. I've always known my FIL is weird. I'll tell my son it's not a Southern thing. It's just his grandfather's thing.
DeleteI wonder what he'll do when I meet him later this year and throw him into a big bear hug and say proudly "I'm Italian. Hugs are obligatory in my culture. I hope you don't mind." Then I'll just hug him every time I see him. And compliment his shoes. :D
ReplyDeleteHahahahahaha!!!! OMG I will laugh SO hard! After you hug them, you should ask for an ashtray so you can smoke!
DeleteI'm in the south. And that's just weird. It is definitely not a southern thing. We're friendly in the south..not affection-adverse.
ReplyDeleteThank you! More verification that my FIL is just plain weird!
DeleteWHAT? That's just crazy! Hugs are awesome! your fil is going to miss out on some awesome hugs from his grandson!
ReplyDeleteOh I know! All he's going to end up accomplishing is alienating himself from his grandchildren. Though he's already done that to some extent already. I agree, hugs are awesome!
Deletethat is pure crazy! i am bitch enough to request NO ONE give grandpa a hug..if he can't hug one he can't hug any! was he that way with your husband when he was younger? he sounds like a homophobe to me..a complete douche. hugs say what the heart can't form into words.
ReplyDeleteI wish you were in the family, so you could stand up to him! NO ONE stands up to him! I was just discussing this with my hubby earlier today. He said he can't remember his father ever hugging him as a child, but he does remember him shaking his hand, like it was an all important rite of passage. (which my husband didn't care about) That's so messed up that his father never hugged him. He is a complete douche.
DeletePeople like that may get their way, but it is really a lonely, sad existence because no one can be authentic with them. Yes, the family may do what he wants, but he hasn't earned your love and respect. His loss!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. In the end he will alienate himself from his grandkids and end up all alone. And he long ago lost our love and respect, unfortunately.
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